Exodus 33:12-15
Moses said to the LORD, “You have been telling me, ‘Lead these people,’ but you have not let me know whom you will send with me. You have said, ‘I know you by name and you have found favor with me.’ If you are pleased with me, teach me your ways so I may know you and
continue to find favor with you. Remember that this nation is your people.”
The LORD replied, “My Presence will go with you, and I will give you rest.”
Then Moses said to him, “If your Presence does not go with us, do not send us up from here.”
Over the last several years, Moses and his story have been one of my most prominent teachers. If
I could summarize in one word what attracts me to Moses, it’s his honesty. He expresses himself
gently; at other times, he’s direct and even abrasive. Even in his confusion, his longing, and his
loneliness, he refuses to speak anything but what he knows and finds freedom in asking God
about what he doesn’t know.
In this chapter of his story, Moses is tired. His soul is not at rest.
It would be easy to write this off as a crisis of leadership. I can only imagine the weight of
bearing the complaints and the critiques, the wandering and wondering. But that’s not what’s
taking the life out of Moses. It’s his relationship with God.
Moses can’t discern how this whole thing works. Life is not going the way he expected. God is
not showing up the way Moses thought He would or should. He’s confused, frustrated, and
weary.
Here’s what I love about Moses: He chooses not to disengage, self-soothe, self-loathe, or pretend
he’s not lonely. He chooses to authentically and genuinely raise his fist and his voice to the God
he doesn’t totally understand.
He says to God, “I’m surrounded by all these people, yet I’m totally alone. You supposedly
choose me, and yet here we are. I’m not taking another step. I’m done.”
In a sermon entitled “Our God is Able,” Martin Luther King Jr. tells this story.
Almost immediately after the Montgomery bus protest had been undertaken, we began to
receive threatening phone calls and letters in our home. Sporadic in the beginning, they
increased day after day. At first I took them in my stride, feeling they were the work of a
few hotheads who would become discouraged after they discovered that we would not
fight back. But as the weeks passed, I realized that many of the threats were in earnest. I
felt myself faltering and growing in fear.
After a particularly strenuous day, I settled in bed at a late hour…and was about to doze
off when the telephone rang. An angry voice said, “Listen, (expletive), we’ve taken all we
want from you. Before next week you’ll be sorry you ever came to Montgomery.” I hung
up, but I could not go to sleep. It seemed all my fears had come down on me at once. I
had reached the saturation point.
I got out of bed and began to walk the floor. Finally, I went to the kitchen and heated a
pot of coffee. I was ready to give up. I tried to think of a way to move out of the picture
without appearing to be a coward. In this state of exhaustion, when my courage had
almost gone, I took my problem to God. My head in my hands, I bowed over the kitchen
table and prayed aloud. The words I spoke to God that midnight are still vivid in my
memory.
“I am here taking a stand for what I believe is right. But now I am afraid. The people are
looking to me for leadership, and if I stand before them without strength, they too will
falter. I am at the end of my powers. I have nothing left. I have come to the point where I
can’t face it alone.”
At that moment I experienced the presence of the Divine as I had never experienced him.
It seemed as though I could hear the quiet assurance of an inner voice, saying, “Stand up
for righteousness, stand up for truth. God will be at your side forever.”
Almost at once my fears passed from me. My uncertainty disappeared. I was ready to
face anything. The outer situation remained the same, but God had given me inner calm.
Three nights later, our home was bombed. Strangely enough, I accepted the word of the
bombing calmly. My experience with God had given me a new strength and trust. I knew
now that God is able to give us the interior resources to face the storms and problems of
life.
I think God wants to hear your voice—saying the truest thing you know how to say to God and
not being satisfied until you hear an answer that makes it possible for you to pick your head up
off the table and go on.
That’s what Moses was doing.
You know the rest of the story. Moses’ “outer situation” remained the same. Moses doesn’t lead
God’s people into the Promised Land. His rest will not be in a place or a space. Moses found an
even greater rest. Moses found God, and in His Presence, he found rest.
Questions to Consider:
If you spoke to God today with total freedom what would you say? What would He say?
Let’s pray: Come, Holy Ghost, our souls inspire and lighten us with your celestial fire, for if you
are with us, then nothing else matters. And if you are not with us, then nothing else matters
(Barbara Brown Taylor).
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